Back to Life...

I recall vividly and still see it on my bad days, the look and the unsaid words by those that want to grab me by the short hairs and scream, “You aren’t over this yet?”  Under my breath…I answer No…you asshole I will never be over this….but some days are better than others. Skip’s death blew a giant crater in me, my life, and my family.  At first, I immediately went to work filling the whole, only to find out it was a bottomless pit.  The more love, emotion, and care that I put in it exactly… that much would leach out.  I was taught that this hole can never be filled in or covered up or ignored.  It is love, pure love, and that never goes away.  I am learning to honor and respect my damage and scars but to also begin building a life on the edge of the crater.  I cannot go backward, I cannot do it the way I used to, I am not who I used to be…and that is ok.

"Back to Life"  EnVogue