I had to see for myself, but wish I had not.

“Deciding not to view the body is perfectly normal in grief. So is deciding not to remain with their body after they've passed. As with so many topics in this ongoing series, this is an intensely personal decision. Where some people find comfort others find trauma, and then there's a vast in-between.

We also recognize that there are countless reasons why these decisions might not be or have been an option for you. Once again circle back to acknowledgment as the only form of medicine that helps: for everything you've had to do or wished you could do differently --”  ~ Megan Devine 

It happened so fast and so unexpectedly that I just could not believe it was true.  They had to have made a mistake, it wasn’t him, it could not be him! I could not accept what I had been told until I could see for myself.  I had no choice, I had to know but now…I wish there was some way I had not seen.  It is the first horrific vision I see on anniversaries, every Monday morning at 8:30 AM and each 5^th of the month.  I had to know, had to see for myself, but wish I had not.

"Best Friend" Jason Mraz