Maybe I can do this by myself...

Each day I am forced to figure out “how do I do this by myself”?  There have been so many things I no longer have the strength to do on my own and he was always there to pick up my slack.  One of those was helping me build and stretch my own gallery canvas. I had always done that in the past on my own. But recently he would cut and join the frame, I could still stretch and gesso the canvas.  I am often caught between grieving his loss as well as the shocking daily reminders of all that he did for me. As the deadline for “nude nite” jury looms I have vacillated back and forth, thinking maybe last year was it.  However, my heart still wants to create, to return to a place where I feel normal. I just feel like I have overwhelming odds against me. But I have been sketching and I ordered some pre-made canvas…maybe I can do this…all by myself…with other new kinds of help.

"If" Bread