The holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and family
celebrations are centered on gratitude and abundance. In my deepest grief in an
effort to feel better I will force myself to seek out things I am grateful for.
Listing in my head and heart all of the
things that still remain and I remember there are others that have it so much
worse. It seems like a good idea, and
this kind of gratitude is in keeping with the holiday season. But gratitude and
grief don’t cancel each other out, they exist side by side. Focusing on one
while ignoring the other, gratitude or grief, regardless of which one it is, does
not bring less pain or less heartache. I am learning how to allow them the
coexist AND experience both of them fully!
So today I cannot celebrate our anniversary with you and I
am still grieving your loss in ways that create unbearable pain …but I realize that
I can also celebrate the life we had. It
was not perfect, but it was a great life you gave me! I love you, I miss you, happy 45th
anniversary!
"Nothing Stays the Same" Luke Singh
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