Triggers

There are days that I adore the company, but still, I am working through a lot of day to day life without him. I want to believe that I am strong and am doing well, it is what I think everyone wants to see, too. But, the process is not fast or easy and it seems to need to be done alone.  It appears that no one can help me through it, truly it is a one-person undertaking.  There are still emotional “triggers” that I am unaware of, that literally will overtake me without my permission.  They are always shocking and overwhelming.  Everything from a simple non-descript sound or smell.  This morning it was the feel and warmth of wrapping the soft wool shawl around my shoulders that he got for me last Christmas before going out to the porch for our coffee. 

"The Way We Were"  Barbara Streisand