I do not know how to do this….

About the time that I think I am ready to begin moving into a “new normal” waves of grief, guilt and just plain fear overtake me and I fall apart all over again.  It takes the smallest unexpected thing to ignite the insecurity and grief.  Yesterday a wonderful thoughtful picture sent from an artist friend of Skip helping us sweep up the confetti after last years Artist’s Way Celebration of Creativity.  It was the same exhibition I was going to last night and my first real social outing. All of a sudden I was incapacitated and melted into an emotional pitiful blob.  I was determined to be strong and push through…I did go, I just could not stay…I was overwhelmed and afraid…I am just not ready.  I am not ready for a world that he is not in…I do not know how to do this…

"How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?" Al Green