holding on....

I have tried so hard to understand why he is in my life….clearly there is something I have to learn, he is still here and I continue to reach out.  But each time I come away frustrated, baffled, lost, hurt and almost angry.  I would like to search for our lessons together, but I do not think that is going to happen, we are in such different places.  “I am going to have to let the tender darkness do the holding on for a while.”