it has not ruined me!

And I am finally beginning to believe it!  There have been weeks I was not sure and then more weeks that I begged just to have the life I had before open heart surgery back (I would take anything, other than the pain and grief I had).  And although before was not the greatest situation,  I could function without anyone knowing.  I could keep up the ruse long just long enough to fool you, but that was all I really needed to do.   The time came several months ago, it got really hard and I knew I could not keep up the lie any longer.  But today, today…. finally today, I believe I will go on, I do not know how or if it will get better than it is today, but all I need to know today is that this has not ruined me!

"We May Never Pass this Way Again"  Seals & Crofts