life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


Music is loading really slow lately...sorry...

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Who is and Who is Not in Denial

They claim I am not accepting the reality of the situation. The nurses/doctors have politely accused me of denial. I have made some difficult choices and clearly spoken my choices over a great period of time, they just do not want to hear….Leading me to wonder exactly who is and who is not in denial.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Greatest Good!

I am on a magnificent journey! Joy, pain, love, and fear all bring me closer to achieving a life of meaning and I receive them all with open arms.
Everything happens for my greatest good!

Letting go of Ego

There is so much peace in letting go.
The more I let go, the more energy seems to be available to me!
I sure wish I had learned to do this a long time ago.
I am not letting go of life, I am letting go of a parasitic ego,
and seeking the abundant happiness and wisdom that has always been here waiting for me.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Being Busy...It is a Wonderful Thing!

Black Tails & Tennis Shoes (who but one of my sons?)
Between end of semester research papers and making hundreds and hundreds of handmade paper flowers for Jason and Stephanie's wedding, I just have not had much time to write! Is'nt it great! Most of the pictures in the video were taken by my most awesome 8 year old grandson, Oliver. He did a fantastic job! The song "100 years" was chosen by Jason for the Mother of the Groom/Groom dance and I cried like a baby! Stephanie's father is not with us and she chose instead for her first dance to be with all 4 of their children to the "Banana Splits"!
What a wonderful happy day!