life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

life, love,art. heart failure and assorted ramblings

Don't Talk Like That...

I write to find out what my heart thinks....
I write to expose and work through the ugly parts of this disease, open heart surgery that was less than successful and more recently an S-ICD (internal cardiac defibrillator) implanted in my chest that will hopefully restore my heart beat in case of sudden cardiac death. I am here to celebrate my life, to uncover my fears, to hold on to love, to learn how to live a full life with heart failure, to honor my creativity, and to explore all of my emotions out loud ...before anyone can say
"Don't talk like that!"


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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Full Moon Fridays

There is absolutely nothing better than being outdoors on a crisp fall evening around an open fire, under a full moon with a hand full of marvelous creative women. (A little wine and chocolate don’t hurt either!) The most open, honest, authentic creative inspiration appears on full moon Fridays! Thank you!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Almost Perfectly Wonderful!

Had an adventurous purposeful day!
Was able to keep up as we walked the school corridors and see at the most creative art works you could imagine!
Had an impeccable lunch on the patio with Herbie Hancock,the resident rooster.
Concealed the exhaustion in the bookstore stacks then slept for 3 hours.
But there are no words that will be able to express how tickled and grateful I am to have an almost perfectly wonderful day with absolutely perfectly wonderful friends!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Don't Talk Like That!

I come to this blog to squeeze fear out of my life
I can expose and work through the parts of this disease
that I (and most everybody) do not want to look at or talk about.

I can come here and write about fear.
I can explore my fear before anyone can say “don't talk like that.”

I can work through the ugly questions...

Do I give the medical industry permission to exploit my fears because I have been too afraid to accept death as part of life?

How could I allow the pharmaceutical industry to define my life when I know their only interest in me is a means to generate profits?

Why don't they ever ask me what I think or what I want?