Understanding (and the lack there of)

It took some time to wrap my head around this physical situation and I will freely admit, there are days that the simple medical explanations still escape my understanding. However, the understanding that eludes me on a regular basis is the emotional part of this disease.

I find brief periods of peace, and what I certainly feel is the beginning of the final long-term understanding only to have it slip away.

I wonder if I will ever truly comprehend the meaning of this disease and my life. The one true understanding I have is that if I quit trying, I never will understand it.